It’s Time For A New Type Of Man (Blog #6)
It’s time for a new type of man to rise.
Before pointing to a new type of man, I want to point out 2 starkly contrasting, existing types of men. The emotionally cut off tough guy, and the overly sensitive nice guy.
I imagine you know of these two guys. I imagine you could probably see where you stand on the spectrum between them.
I’ve always been the nice guy. Overly sensitive and a pleaser of all people. An avoider of conflict, and therefore a liar, shapeshifter and anxiety-ridden man. While deep in this archetype, I struggled with consistency, purposeful work, and standing up for myself. I poured my sexual and emotional energy anywhere it could go, and had little to no direction. And even when I felt I was aiming toward something, I always missed the mark because I was living in many worlds and was always taken off course.
Then there’s the tough guy. A hardened man who cares little about how his words and actions affect others. He is usually cut off to the pain and misfortune of others, and often “checks out” when things get too emotionally heightened. The tough guy “says it how it is". The only problem is that he is not energetically open enough to his and other’s emotions to actually know how “it is.” Knowing the truth requires a lot of sensitivity. Much like you can’t hear a song too well with ear plugs in. The tough guys avoidance of emotions is the “plug” that blocks out the noise. Essential noise.
The nice guy on the other hand, lets in EVERY noise, and has little to no boundaries for what he feels. He may feel what is going on, but he is so overwhelmed and scared to do anything about it. He lets everything penetrate his energetic field. Instead of wearing ear plugs, he is listening to every radio station all at once, making it equally impossible to hear the right song.
THE NEW MAN picks his song intentionally, and listens wholly and carefully. He is the best of both of these types of men: He is brave to face his emotions and the emotions of others AND he is brave enough to do the right thing about it. Even/especially when the right thing isn’t the easy thing. When emotions get heightened (his or another’s), he is willing to sit with them and stay present. He is willing to take a hard look at himself in order to increase his capacity to hold emotions and stay calm. He is less reactive because of it, and is able to listen intently and respond to situations accordingly. He is damn intentional about what he consumes (media, food, drugs, porn, etc.) and makes choices that make being a more present, caring, purposeful, empathetic man, as graceful as possible.
This new man is a flowing vessel. When speaking about his own intentions as a leader, Uncle Vince “Matoska” Chafin says “to be the hollow reed that the breath of God blows through.” That shit lights me up just typing it. The Hollow Reed. This new/ancient man does his inner work so he can transmute emotions. He is a man who constantly faces and holds the harsh truths of himself and his world. When he does this, he need not get trapped by his emotions, other’s emotions or by harsh truths. He knows himself, is sensitive to the world, and is intentional with his energy enough to be a hollow tube. Experiences, emotions, conflicts, challenges, triumphs, gratitude, and everything else that we hold as men, can move right through him with grace. He can be sensitive because he knows he is protected. He can be intentional because he knows he is energetically open and gathering all the information. He can speak and do what is right as apposed to what is easy or “safer” for his ego.
What are you doing to awaken and maintain this New Man in yourself?
What does a better world look like? And what do YOU look like as a leader in it? The answer to this question is how YOU become this new type of man.
So Much Love, Brother. Until next time ✌🏼
